Waking up in the Jungle

Location: Haad Rin, Koh Pha Ngan, Thailand

NP: Kingston Wall - Stüldt Håjt

Mood: Distraught

Every time I think I'm going to wake up back in the jungle. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. -Captain Willard

My first trip to Thailand was in 2006. Returning home was an end to a two-week rush, coming down from a high and soon after dealing with the death of my grandfather. It was like hitting a massive downer. I'd wake up, get to work and there'd be nothing. I wonder what it will be like this time, after three months. Can it be any worse?

When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle.

The jungle is right here on Koh Pha Ngan. Creepy crawlies far bigger than those I'm used to back home have invaded my bungalow at Sea Garden Resort & Spa. I was trying to rough it up on the cheap side in a room as hot as Hell. Now a giant spider lurks somewhere in the corner, lizards roam the walls, mosquitoes have found the cracks on the floor and tiny ants march on my bed, impervious, it seems, to the paralyzing heat. I've been here for two days now. Waiting, getting softer.

Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker.

Today I switched rooms. Air-con, clean and bug-free. Apart from a big one that revealed itself when Mika, my travelling companion, went to close the curtains. It was just a bug of some sort, clasping the curtains. But it was quick. I couldn't kill it. The jungle is close. I hear its chirping night and day. Every time I stop and listen the sounds seem to come a little closer. 

Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.