Showdown in Pattaya

Location: Pattaya, Thailand

NP: Liekki - Pienokainen

Mood: Pleased

The key to a successful holiday is not hurrying too much. There should never be a haste to see many sights and experience many things. The only way to truly enjoy a place is to take time exploring it - not to rush through a plethora of sights and places only to mark them on your checklist: "I've been here."

Wrong. You haven't experienced it. You've rushed through it learning little.

That was what I'd done with Pattaya six years ago, on my first trip to Thailand. I'd only spent one day at Pattaya, hurrying off to the island of Koh Samet. The city had left an extremely relaxed image on my mind, but I couldn't know how truthful that image was until I visited it again now.

Amused, I watched as Mika stayed for two days and hurried off to his next destination as I remained put.

Bad boys go to Pattaya, huh?

I found three constants on my second visit to Pattaya: Swimming in the sea in the morning, hiding from the sun at noon and dodging ladies of the night near Beach Road in the evening.

It was an excellent experience.

The sex industry is very visible in Pattaya, but it's not in your face in an aggressive way like it would be in, say, Vietnam. The most visible sides of it are the flocks of women hanging out near the beach when it gets dark, the signs of go-go bars and the open-air bars (and those are just pretty much normal bars). Very seldomly was I bothered anywhere, apart from the many inviting shouts from the staff of bars I walked past.

I saw many Western men with Asian women. Many of the men were old, ugly or visibly dull. The women were almost always younger and lean.

On my last visit, my friend's wallet had been stolen by some ladyboys at Beach Road in Pattaya. I wasn't worried. I thought I'd keep a clear head and not let that happen to me.

I visited a massage parlour. There were certainly naughty ones in Pattaya, but happily I noticed I'd managed to find a normal one. They say you haven't been to Thailand if you haven't experienced a Thai massage. I do not agree. The stretching treatment was mostly amusing, partially painful and partially relaxing. A little cooling menthol oil was used. But it had little to do with all that was Thailand.

My masseuse was a woman called Ni, 35 years old and seemingly quite experienced in what she did. She offered me a glass of water after the massage and sat with me as I drank it. Her name reminded me of an old Monty Python sketch involving some knights and a shrubbery.

I went back the next day for an oil massage. It was far more relaxing. And scary. You have to strip nude for it! But don't worry, you receive a towel to cover your privates. Ni used an oil of mixed flowers.

Sitting at a bar with a handful of locals, one other Western man, the small staff and live music was very pleasant. But it was bound to end in a clash between the Westerners.

Beer was cheap and tasty. The band wasn't very good, but just good enough to be enjoyable when they played a song you knew. They were taking requests. During a particularly poor performance the showdown was on. I rolled eyes at the Western man across the bar, and he shook his head.

And that was all the exchange that was needed. We were in silent agreement.

There are few places in the world like Pattaya. Life as a tourist is very easy there. You eat well every day, enjoy the nearby sea and spend your days as you please. And nothing of mine was stolen.

In that regard, I hope this little city never changes.